This is not only a blog, but the best blog in the history of blogging and if you don't agree...well your just wrong. Your math is off, you forgot to carry the one somewhere in that equation.
No one really understands me because my manual was written in a dead language, so basically I am 100 different things to 100 different people, (400 things if you count that people change their minds about me constantly, based on the weather.) Basically, I am indeed what you think you thought I am, that time you thought that you were thinking about what you thought I was, and I'm damn proud.
Here's a few things to write on your flash cards so that you'll understand me a lil better and therefore will help you become a better person.
1. I Do's the Kung Fuus. - That's right, I like to kick shit. I believe that all major questions especially those of the most profound origin can be solved simply by a swift kick in the choad.
2. I'm a hater, I hate when things are going well. especially for someone other than me. I hate your promotion, your new car, your clean bill of health, your aspirations, your achievements, I even hate what you had for dinner. When there's nothing to hate on you for, ill hate on you for not having anything for me to hate on you for.
3. I don't like authority, I go down one-way streets, I walk down "UP" escalators, I use fire exits, lean on doors while riding trains, order breakfast after 11am and Sometimes ill have a bad night on purpose depending on your tone of voice when you tell me "Have a good night!" You can often find me arguing with my conscience because I feel like "He don't know me like to be telling me what to do."
5. (No i didn't skip 4 - I wrote it in a special font. - hold alt and press F4 to view)
Hehehe...Welcome back. Anyway...
I'm not a girly-man. I don't suffer from "Lesstosterone" I don't start sentences with "I feel...". I don't suck toes, I wont hold ur purse while you get your hair done, I wont stare at your boobs while you talk but i am picturing your ass, most of that time. If you will be offended by me repeating "word?", "thas crazy!" and "4real??" over and over again during our conversation, I'm probably not the person you should call to chat with. With the way men are devolving pretty soon we will be shopping for bra-sizes..for ourselves. Yeah well I'm a fossil...No thanks.
Well if you read all the way through that means you can read and we're on the right track already, I may even invite you over to drink $2 booze with me. If not the pictures are pretty and colorful, yes?...yes!
Stay tuned for more. Hell, gimme a topic and if it doesn't suck balls, ill blog about it.
Thanks for reading. Winners don't use drugs!
I subscribed because hypnotoad told me so! very real and true to character. I am inspired to blog now, thanks doll.
ReplyDeleteAwesomesauce
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ReplyDeleteI's lykes duh pritty pikchoors suh
ReplyDeletelol and who might you be #IfucxWitcha?
ReplyDeleteCan you remove all posts by people with an inability to write in standard American English?
ReplyDeleteYea Tone, good way to start the blog!!
ReplyDeleteLOL @ invisible robot. I still remember that video.
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